Cereal: (Unfortunately) It’s Not Just for Breakfast.
Krista: This is either Golden Graham Crusted Clam Chowder or Golden Graham Crusted Warm Potato Salad.
Let me tell you. I’ve been thinking about this so much I actually bought a box of Golden Grahams, and I don’t think anybody in my house eats those. I think I might actually be making this recipe.
And what Web site doesn’t give you a bigger picture to see the finished product?
Kari: I like how you insist on using the term Crusted in your title. And specifying that the potato salad is warm.
Krista: Well, doesn’t it look melted? Whatever it is? I mean I hope it’s not potato salad.
Kari: Well, I think those are flakes. Golden Grahams are square. And that looks mayonnaisey, but I don’t know about potatoes. It’s like Corn Flake Surprise.
Krista: Well, what are those square things? Cheese?
Kari: I don’t see any square things.
Krista: What’s that lumpy thing up front?
Kari: Dude, all I see are tomatoes I think in the front right. So it’s tomato, corn flakes and mayonnaise.
Krista: I thought that was pink potato skins. See the rectangular piece above the tomatoes? That could be celery. You could be right.
Kari: I thought that could be a green onion piece.
Krista: And why does the background look like woodlands wallpaper? Like hunting wallpaper. Is this salad only for real men out in the woods? I don’t know it’s just weird looking.
It looks like something your dog Kirby might throw up.
Kari: No way. Kirby eats premium dog food.
It’s … Baked Seafood Salad.
Ingredients
corn flakes
cooked crab, tendons removed
cooked, deveined shrimp
green bell pepper
onion
celery
mayonnaise
salt
Worcestershire sauce
paprika
Krista: No. Way. Golden Graham Chowder’s more appetizing than that. See, when you think of salad what do think of?
Kari and Krista: Cold.
Krista: Let’s review. Macaroni salad? Cold. Potato salad? Cold. Pasta salad? Cold. And wait. Seafood salad? COLD.
Dude, crab is expensive. Why would you waste it on corn flakes and mayonnaise? Hot mayo-covered crab is what I want to eat dusted with margarine-covered corn flakes. Now I’m gonna throw up.
That’s why it’s so runny. Seriously. It’s just like melted mayonnaise.
Kari: Not only do I think I don’t what hot mayo, I don’t want hot corn flakes. Or corn flakes and seafood. That’s a weird breading.
Krista: Let’s face it. Anything that bakes in the oven for 30 minutes—like celery—that’s just going to be mush. I guess we’re going to have to eat the Golden Grahams now. Maybe the baby will eat ’em.
Kari: Maybe you should make a cold salad with Golden Grahams to see if it’s good.
Krista: No, I’ll just donate the box, who am I’m kidding. I’m disappointed they’re not Golden Grahams. Don’t they look like Golden Grahams? I guess that’s the paprika. It looks all goldeny.
Kari: And why is it cooked individually in shells or ramekins?
Krista: Dude, this is definitely the way you want to kill someone who has a seafood allergy. Look what I made you!
Kari: They’ll never guess it’s seafood.
Krista: Seriously. “Yum! I love your hot mayo salad.”
Kari: I can hear the crunching now. On top of that warmy goodness. Mmm … thank goodness the tendons were removed.
Krista: That’s so they’ll slide down your throat faster.
Shrimp baked for 30 minutes is going to be rubber. And most people buy frozen shrimp. It’s going to be hard as a rock. Hey, at least there’s a veggie in there. That’s got to make it healthy. And are corn flakes made with whole grains?
Kari: I think those are General Mills cereals like Cocoa Puffs.
Krista: Hey, now there’s an idea! Cocoa-licious.
Kari: You’re right. Let’s make Cocoa Puff Shrimp Bake. I think that would be waay better.
